Forgetting things comes easily to me, remembering is a challenge.

With as many thoughts as I have, I didn't believe that it would be so hard to put them into words. I am thinking 98% of my day and my most recent thought was that blogging would be the best way to release the energy, the stress, and the anxiety of self-discovery and the realization of the reality to which I have been blind, until now. I want to write it all down so I don't forget what I'm learning.

On Saturday, February 16, I made a commitment to God not to date for a year. For those who know me, they can't believe it. Secretly, I belive they think I will break it, but I know I won't. I'm 'boy crazy' as my mom use to call it when I was six, but I'd like to think I'm coming out of it. Everyone likes attention, and I've always gotten along better with the guys. They are so relaxed and compared to my OCD, perfectionist personality, it's a nice break. This year I long to learn to lean solely on God.


I would love to just be away from everything for a few days, maybe this Spring Break I'll get a chance! To be alone; just me and God, praying, and reading His Word, enjoying His earth. Which, when it comes down to it, I should be doing everday anyways, but that is definitely something with which I struggle.

I love to be fully immersed in something. To be able to give it all I have and finish something makes me so happy! Random? Yes. Truth be told, I want that to be God. I have so many distractions, some I make myself, others that are inevitable and I must learn to ignore, but they're there all the same. I long to give myself over completely to Christ, and that's what I'm doing. God is showing me that He is truly all I need. Often times I have put my self worth in friends and family, in high school, in perfectionism. But it's not my heart's desire. My heart's desire is to praise God with my entire way of life, with every breath and every thought. I want to GO and tell others about this marvelous God that I serve. I want to be able to love on the kids in Africa, perhaps Maine, or Scotland, or Ireland! : ) I don't care where. But I also want to sing to Him, to use (which at most times seems like the only talent I posess) my voice to cry out to Him in praise!

I had so much on my mind earlier that it was hard to pick a topic to write on, but I have chosen and the others will come out in time! Thanks for reading, I hope you get as much out of this blog as I!

Linds. <><